Carpentry season

Advay, my 8 year old, has developed a liking for carpentry off late. His first tryst with carpentry was two years ago when he was frequently visiting Aarohi. Since then he would take up carpentry projects every once a while.

One of my close friends, Murali Krishna, has recently renovated his house and dedicated half of his terrace to his carpentry workshop. He keeps doing some woodwork or the other.

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No freedom, only responsibility

The words freedom and responsibility mean different things to different people.

When someone says “Sam is free to do xyz“, it could either mean “Sam can choose to do xyz, if he ‘wants'” OR “Sam is not ‘banned’ from doing xyz, so he can potentially do it” OR “Sam can try out xyz ‘for size’ and discard it if it doesn’t suit him.”

When someone says “Sam is responsible for xyz“, it could mean “Sam caused xyz” OR “Sam is to blame for the mess that xyz has become” OR “Sam is accountable for xyz, should something go wrong.”

In my opinion both these words are poorly understood. Alteast not understood properly enough to leave one with access to action and integrity required to “make something happen”.

In my view; there is no such thing as freedom. There is only responsibility. Freedom is that feeling one has while being responsible. Freedom cannot be exercised, it is can only be felt as an outcome of being responsible. One can only exercise (or assume) Responsibility.

Let me explain.

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Anxiety about unlimited freedom

Tight rope walking is scary because there are no rails to hold on to while walking on the tight rope.

So, it causes an obvious anxiety about walking on the rope. Anxiety stems from the fact that, without support, one might fall off to the left OR to the right OR forward OR backward OR slip from both legs and crash land on the abdomen OR many other possibilities. If only there was a railing that one could hold on to, walking on the tight rope would be much easier.

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8 habits of highly authentic people

Pardon my cheap shot at free publicity. I couldn’t resist naming this blog post after Stephen Covey’s magnum opus “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People“. It was one of the first “real self help” books I read in my life. Up until then I was mostly reading books on personality development, which taught me techniques for manipulating myself and others in an effort to produce results. This was one of the first books that boldly spoke about getting real and genuine. I loved the book. It helped create a lot of value, substance and results in my life.

Having said that, I dont like the idea that there are 7 or 8 or 20 or any finite number of ways in which people can be effective, or authentic in the case of this post. There are plenty of ways, perhaps a lot more than we can discover in one lifetime. Each person striving to live an authentic life can and for the most part does invent ways to be authentic. In this blog post, I share some of the strategies I have learned from books, seminars, other people and also those that I have invented for myself to live an authentic life. My excitement about sharing what I have learned about Existentialism comes from the very real possibility of learning from others about the strategies they invent (or adopt) for living an authentic life. Knowing that no one can ever simply be authentic, offers unlimited opportunity for personal exploration and growth.

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being-for-others – a breeding ground for inauthentic relationships

Sartre and others carve a phenomenon called being-for-others, that leaves a human being with an experience of being an object along with other objects in a world of objects, with fixed properties, labels, behaviour etc. Given that people are seldom, if ever, truly alone these days, each person constantly confronts the existence of other people, not simply as objects in his world, but as subjects who see him and judge him and reduce him to an object in their world. To be an object for the Other is the meaning of being-for-other. My being-for-other is the awareness I have of my own objectification in the eyes of the Other.

In this post, I want to explore being-for-other by enumerating common being-for-other experiences.

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